Can Parallel Parenting Help You Keep the Peace After Divorce?

You have heard the horrible stories about parents becoming estranged from their children after divorce, with each parent blaming his or her ex-spouse for the breakdown of the parent-child relationship.  You would never do that, at least not intentionally, but keeping the peace with your children and your co-parent is exponentially more difficult when it sounds, even when you and your ex-spouse are both emotionally intelligent people with the best of intentions.  Sometimes your ex-spouse brings out the worst in you.  Some couples are able to establish a new normal simply by following their court-ordered parenting plan, but others cannot resist opening old wounds every time they talk to each other and escalating their conflicts over time.  Parallel parenting can help you establish boundaries with your co-parent, even if you cannot easily resolve your conflicts.  To find out more about co-parenting after a high conflict divorce, contact a Mississauga family lawyer.

Establishing a Demilitarized Zone for Co-Parenting in High Conflict Divorce Cases

Parallel parenting is a co-parenting strategy that courts sometimes order for spouses who simply cannot get along.  The court issues a parenting plan, determining which parent will be with the children on which days, and the parents follow it, just as in other families.  The difference in parallel parenting is that the parents rarely interact directly with each other, because doing so would be a minefield of conflict.  Therefore, the parents communicate by texting each other on co-parenting apps such as Our Family Wizard.  If they need to discuss something so complex that a text message exchange will not do it justice, they communicate through their lawyers.

In other words, parallel parenting means that the parents agree to disagree.  You must live with the fact that your ex-spouse brings your children to religious services that, if it were your choice, they would not attend, or that your ex lets your kids eat more junk food than you consider appropriate.  It is an agreement not to antagonize your ex, and by extension, not to antagonize your children.

Should You Try Parallel Parenting Even If You and Your Ex-Spouse Can Sometimes Tolerate Each Other?

No one files for divorce wishing for the court to order parallel parenting; it is a measure of last resort.  While you may not enjoy your ex-spouse’s company, your goal is to be able to call your spouse when you need to, to communicate in a straightforward and stress-free manner.  In order to prevent conflict with your spouse, less is more when it comes to communication.  Be KIND, which stands for kid-centered, informative, nice, and direct, in your conversations with your ex-spouse.  Be wise enough to know when a problem is too complex to work out in a calm conversation, and ask your lawyer to help you.

Contact Zagazeta Garcia LLP About Parallel Parenting After Divorce

A family law attorney can help you if you and your ex-spouse are experiencing a communication breakdown with regard to co-parenting.  Contact Zagazeta Garcia LLP in Mississauga, Ontario to discuss your case.

Source:

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